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Font Madness: Championship

What's the worst font ever? We're about to find out. After a month-long period of voting round-by-round, we're down to the final two contenders in Font Madness — our quest to crown the worst font ever.

View the full bracket

Championship: #2 Goudy Stout vs. #5 Waker

Goudy Stout vs WakerDown goes Comic Sans! The poster child for awful fonts made it to the final four, but was no match for the heavyweight horridness that is Goudy Stout. In a bracket where I thought we were destined for a Comic Sans vs. Papyrus final, worthy sleepers Goudy Stout and Waker tore through their respective regions with some impressive margins.

Just marvel at those two specimens. There can be no real "winner" here; only a more loser-ish loser. It's everything I dreamt it could be.

Why Goudy Stout Is The Worst

Honestly, why? Why does this exist? Since when do fonts come in "obese" as the default weight? Who thought it would be a good idea to include this as standard font in software? So many questions.

Even the font's creator Frederic Goudy said Goudy Stout was designed in a "moment of typographic weakness."

Why Waker Is The Worst

Wow. There's a lot to unpack here. This is a bad font even without the Chia Pet hair, but I'm guessing by the font name that those wildly unnecessary lines are supposed to be...sunbeams? I don't know. The actual answer doesn't matter. This is so awful.

Voting has concluded.

Illumine8 Marketing & PR is a Frederick, Maryland-based firm that combines the power of business development strategy, marketing creativity and customer-focused sales to deliver sustainable and measurable results.

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