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Font Madness: Final Four

What's the worst font ever? We're down to final four awful fonts in Font Madness — our quest to crown the worst font ever. Will well-known terrible font Comic Sans reign king, or is there a Cinderella story still in store?

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Final Four: #1 Comic Sans vs. #2 Goudy Stout

Comic Sans vs. Goudy Stout

Unlike their neighbors Loyola-Chicago (the real life basketball team), fellow No. 11 seed Chicago (the font) couldn't continue it's Cinderella run to the Final Four, getting edged out by No. 1 seed Comic Sans in a close vote.

Goudy Stout continued its dominant rampage through the serif region, where it posted an astounding 93.5% average total margin of victory.

It's hard to call this a "David vs. Goliath" match-up. Comic Sans is certainly a tournament favorite and a well-known punching bag of font hate, but something is literally Goliath-like about Goudy Stout.

Why Comic Sans Is The Worst

We've addressed the elephant in the room straight away: Comic Sans and Papyrus were the odds-on favorites to meet in the "championship." While Papyrus faltered in the loaded decorative region, Comic Sans polluted your screen all the way to the Final Four.

Why Goudy Stout Is The Worst

Honestly, why? Why does this exist? Since when do fonts come in "obese" as the default weight? Who thought it would be a good idea to include this as standard font in software? So many questions.

Even the font's creator Frederic Goudy said Goudy Stout was designed in a "moment of typographic weakness."

Voting for this round has concluded.

Final Four: #7 Kristen ITC vs. #5 Waker

Kristen ITC vs Waker

Kristen ITC outplayed its seed and took down Noteworthy, Lucida Calligraphy, Vivaldi Italic, and Chalkboard en route to its somewhat surprising appearance in the Final Four. How terrible does a font have to be to beat all four of those other awful fonts?

And Waker? Not much else to say here. It emerged in a region of fonts that were deemed worse than Papyrus. I did not know that was possible.

Why Kristen ITC Is The Worst

Oh, come on. You're better off taking a physical crayon and just haphazardly scribbling over your monitor than you are producing any material written in Kristen ITC.

Why Waker Is The Worst

Wow. There's a lot to unpack here. This is a bad font even without the Chia Pet hair, but I'm guessing by the font name that those wildly unnecessary lines are supposed to be...sunbeams? I don't know. The actual answer doesn't matter. This is so awful.

Voting for this round has concluded.


Polls for this round closed at 11:00 AM EST on Thursday, March 29.

Illumine8 Marketing & PR is a Frederick, Maryland-based firm that combines the power of business development strategy, marketing creativity and customer-focused sales to deliver sustainable and measurable results.

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